im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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