I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He? As in you personified your dick?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
