Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
