idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
