this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
