I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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