My friends, they love my intelligence
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
