Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
