I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I love having hate sex.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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