i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
