Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
