I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
