I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
