I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
