i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
