Midget sex pt 2 tonight
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
