He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
