Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
