Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
