you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
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