my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
