then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
