he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
