I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
