I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
there is glitter all over my balls
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
