I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
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