no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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