I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
