Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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