Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
And then he peed in my hair
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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