Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
