I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
