I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
