Hey man sorry I got all grabby
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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