Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
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