the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
