i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
she pinky promised me she was 18
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
