you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
