i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
