If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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