we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
