Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Blood and glitter go together right?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize