Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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