Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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