It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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