I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
