pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
