So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
