Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Randomize
