I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
