He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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