I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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