You really coming over, don't trick.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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