im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
