If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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